According to the incel crowd, women have sex like men and can switch up sexual partners at the drop of a dime.
"Women can't pair bond!"
"Women can just up and leave at any time and move on to be with another man no sweat."
"Women are faithful to no man," they insist.
If you've ever visited the r/loveafterporn subreddit, tens of thousands of women will give you some very personal and painful firsthand accounts of how traumatized they are in dealing with a porn addict.
The addict is a man they love and they are most certainly bonded to him and could remain so for an indefinite period of time–until they can heal and triumph and build a foundation of healthy self-esteem and get up the gumption to leave (which they inevitably almost always do because we as women are resilient and won't remain where we aren't safe and loved).
One woman in particular highlighted in full detail the various types of nightmares/night tremors she has been suffering with since being hurt and traumatized by her porn addicted male partner:
"For those of you who are plagued with frequent nightmares, what are the general themes?
I’ve been writing mine down for the last year and here are my general themes:
My number 1 reoccurring theme: He keeps leaving and I can’t find him anywhere, I spend all of my time searching
He begrudgingly asks if I want to come with him somewhere/follow a path he’s taking in life, and I drop everything only to watch him all over other women/ignoring me
Someone he’s attracted to keeps gesturing at him and I catch him gesturing back, two people with heavy sexual tension
I have to stop my parents from going through his stuff because they’ll find his porn and saved memory sexual stuff between him and his exes
I’m with other guys that I’m not interested in, and he is totally okay with it
He gets dragged away by someone he has a thing with, and leaves me with a “not my fault, she’s doing this, she’s making me” as he happily leaves me behind
I catch him with a crush, doing things like buying her sexy lingerie, only to get angry with me when I tell him it’s not normal and what about me?
Overarching trend: he is insatiable"
As you can see, the depth of the pain and devastation caused by porn addicted men cannot be overstated enough.
And sadly, society, addicts, and even our family and trusted friends don't seem to empathize. They can't be bothered with it. It's just porn, honey, and he's a man! Your pain as a woman is minuscule by comparison to his INSATIABLE need to look at butt stuff on the internet and jack off!
The porn addict himself definitely doesn't care about a woman's pain because if he did, he'd stop. He'd cease looking at porn. He would go to great lengths to ensure he will never again hurt the woman he loves so long as he lives. That's what a man does when he's serious about quitting!
Instead, we get nightmares. Thousands of dollars in therapy. Sleepless nights. Anti-depressants. Constant paranoia and anxiety. Panic attacks. Depression. Self-image issues that go unresolved. Bad sex and even worse, abusive sex.
And this isn't all we suffer through by any stretch.
That's why Alana and I are working hard to bring this all to light. The nightmares have got to go and so does the porn addiction. Yesterday!
Love,
Jenny
