Most of what we post on this site is geared towards helping women spot porn addiction in men, but it's also extremely helpful and beneficial to assist women in spotting the many signs a man isn't addicted to porn.
The surefire signs he isn't addicted to porn will help you select the right man for you and to understand what it's like to be with a man who is capable of both emotional and physical intimacy.
Once again, you will not find this information anywhere on the web whether you're looking for the signs a man's an addict or he isn't. It's all shrouded in secrecy and it's become almost a gargantuan, underground, cultural task to even bring these discussions to light.
Even with my client who helped inspire me to begin doing work here at He's An Addict, she admitted that she couldn't go to her friends and family for support. She felt there was no one she could to turn to who could help or understand. And she and I remain in regular contact as she begins dating again and needs help in weeding out men who may be addicted to porn.
I also gave her some very distinct signs a man isn't a porn addict and I also told her that not all men are porn addicts (because they aren't). And she will find a loving, caring man who will give her the physical and emotional intimacy she deserves.
But the main thing is, you cannot let a porn-addicted man waste even a single second of your time as a woman. It is YOU with everything to lose in dealing with a porn addict because all they do is take, undermine and destroy.
So here's how you can tell a man isn't an addict:
1) He will not be passive - he will be a bit rebellious and have his own opinions and he will take charge
In this day and age, a passive man is very often a porn-addicted man. I would say that is by far the biggest indicator a man is an addict (especially in his level of passivity).
On the other hand, if he isn't an addict, he will be personable. He will be outgoing. He will have an active social life. He will be out and about doing things. He will have no trouble being in the driver's seat of his life and getting things done.
Look for that in a man. Is he passionate about living his life? Does he get up and go? Does he make plans especially with you? Is he putting in real effort?
If he's doing any of the above, he's likely not a porn addict. Porn addicts are limp noodles. No drive, no ambition, they enjoy their mediocrity and digressing and they have no real direction.
2) He will want sex regularly. He will love your body and he will want to ensure you experience the heights of pleasure with him
A man who isn't addicted to porn won't be able to keep his hands off you. He will not be contented to roll over and go to sleep after not seeing you for two weeks but will instead be eager for intimacy.
You will not have to twist his arm in desiring physical intimacy. He should have a palpable sexuality about him where you can see and feel his virility coursing through his veins. He will want sex from you and he will initiate.
3) He will not have puritan/proselytizing churchgoer/goody two-shoes issues
He will have been in a long-term relationship in the past and has no trouble with women and being in relationships.
He will have a more balanced approach about sex as a man. If you are both wanting to wait for marriage to have sex, it will more than likely be because it's YOUR decision to wait and not his.
A man who isn't a puritan and isn't addicted to porn (you may not know it but these two are closely linked together and we will be exposing it much more in the future) is going to have sex with you on his mind. But he will learn to respect your wishes to wait and he will still enjoy some making out and being emotionally present.
Any guy who seems to have weird hangups about having sex with you is likely a porn addict. And any guy who isn't an addict won't have hangups but will instead be raring and ready to go.
We will be discussing much further in-depth how to spot the signs a man isn't an addict.
Love,
Jenny
